Hotshot Films



				::: CREDITS ::: Produced by ? Directed by ? ::: TRANSMISSION DETAILS ::: Blah blah blah, yackity smackity blah blah blah. Blah blah blah, yackity smackity blah blah blah. Blah blah blah, yackity smackity blah blah blah. Running time: ? ::: SYNOPSIS ::: Celebrities in disguise go back to their old lives they were so desperate to escape - for charity. They get £10,000 for their charity for taking part, and £5,000 if they can risk two weeks in their old job without being rumbled. They can earn up to £5,000 more if they can endure three extra challenges. Will we discover that our stars are just clouds of celebrity gas and hot air, or will they reveal a core of iron? Either way, the format brings them back down to earth with a bang. What have celebrities got? Recognition, money and status. We're going to take it all away from them. First we strip our stars of their image by forcing them to undergo a Makeunder. The thin will become fat, the beautiful plain, the coiffed shaven-headed. Then they'll be dropped behind the lines of anonymity, working in the badly paid, often demeaning, jobs they left behind with such relief. The pressure of the job, the biographical juice it will extract, and the jeopardy of being uncovered form the narrative backbone of the show. This reaches its climax with just 15 minutes to go until the end of their two weeks, when our secret celebrities (with the assistance of a mole) have to risk raising the subject of their star selves in the conversation - without anyone smelling a rat. If they're successful, they win another £1,000, but they're risking the £5,000 they get for not being rumbled. Will they gamble, and can they endure hearing what real people really think about them? But even if they're rumbled on the job, they have three separate challenges. What can celebrities get at the drop of a hat? Sex. We're going to make them grovel for it like the rest of us. Our secret celebrities must get themselves a date by meeting someone down the pub or in the working men's club. We also film the date, which climaxes at the end when the celebrity must tell their date who they are - and are not believed. They can win an extra £1,000. What have celebrities got? Access. They're going to have to get into a celebrity haunt without it. This challenge inverts the proposition for a night. Our celebrities, now Joe Soaps, have to blag their way into a celebrity haunt they normally frequent. But now there's no fawning, no special treatment. They have to find a way in and they have to tell someone in authority who they are and are not believed. This can net their charity a further £1,000. What have celebrities got? A power behind the throne. They're going to have to fool even them. Our celebrities are coming home after their two weeks. But they can win a further £2,000 if, in a new disguise, they can fool their partners/agents/producers on the way. Sample Programme: Anthea The programme begins with a pastiche of Notting Hill - a montage of celebrity archive of Anthea Turner accompanied by the song 'She'. Anthea sits down in front of a TV in her house and slots in a VHS. A figure with his back to the camera - Charlie - challenges her to accept her undercover mission. Anthea has to go back to her old life before she started on her path to fame. For two intense weeks, she has to live in her old neighbourhood and go back to her old job. There will be further challenges should she choose to accept them. Anthea is bundled into a car, a blanket over her head, and taken to a secret location. The Makeunder. Anthea tells us about her life as a celebrity (Has she changed? Is she still that down-to-earth girl from Stoke-on-Trent?) as a top film make-up artist gives her The Makeunder in a mirrorless room. The Makeunder is complete. We catch Anthea's reaction as we reveal her new image to her: a fat suit makes her a size 16, her wig is mousey brown to match the frames of her National Health glasses. Bravely, she flashes her Anthea Turner celebrity smile. We have discoloured one of her front teeth. But hey, it's for charidee! She gets £10,000 for the charity of her choice for taking part. The Job. We observe through a long lens as Anthea walks into a crowded street as the newly born 'Andrea'. She looks with horror at her reflection in shop windows. For the first time in 10 years, though, she can walk down the street unrecognised. How does this feel? Good or bad? She can tell us through a mobile phone, as if she was talking to a friend. A passerby sticks a mini-disc player in her hand. On the disk are instructions from Charlie, giving her the address of her new/old flat and telling her to report to Signal Radio in Staffordshire, where she will get her old job back - station librarian. Anthea's task is to survive two weeks in the job without being rumbled. Unknown to Anthea, the station boss is in on the joke and he'll be instructed to keep the pot boiling. Will she be able to endure the office backbiting, the bollockings from the boss, the bus to work even, without crying 'I'm Anthea Turner, I don't deserve this!'? She's going to have to endure upstart DJs ordering her around, the pressure of working to tight deadlines and the frustration of not being in the limelight - all for a salary of £150 a week. It's this pressure that will squeeze out the biographical juice beyond the usual celebrity profile. Will she encounter old workmates, old dates? What personal emotions will this bring up for Anthea? Has she changed forever? Have they? Will she feel nostalgia when encountered with her old life? A sense of loss? Regret for past misdeeds and paths not taken, or just relief that she's left it all behind? How would we all feel if plunged back into our old lives? We will intercut reactions from her partner, Grant Bovey, giving us an insight into how she will cope and how she is getting on. There will be a video diary for Anthea to pour her poor celebrity heart into back at the flat, along with some secret cameras to catch her off guard. Expect the heating to mysteriously break down, the phone to get cut off. The drama of Anthea's daily life and work as a secret celebrity, her struggle to stay afloat on £150 a week, and the ghosts of her past form the fabric of the show. If she manages to suppress her celebrity side for the full two weeks without being rumbled, she gets another £5,000 for her charity. But there's more. The Date. Anthea finds another VHS from Charlie in her bedsit. She has to get a date and her venue is the nearby Bursley Working Men's Club. In her wardrobe, she'll find a fetching selection of leggings and stilettos. She's going to have to prop up the bar until someone buys her a drink and arranges a date with her. If not she's going to have to chat up one of the men of her nightmares. If she gets a date, which we will of course secretly film, she gets another £1,000 for charity - but not until she tells him she's Anthea Turner and is not believed. The date is intercut with reactions from Grant. Shampagne. Anthea loves nothing more after a busy week of being a celebrity than a glass of champagne at the Met Bar. The problem is it costs £20 and they only let celebrities in. Via VHS, Charlie tells Anthea that she can win another £1,000 if she manages to find a way in and drinks that glass of champagne - but not until she has told the doorman / manager / barman that she is Anthea Turner and is not believed. The Reveal. It's 4.45 on Friday of Week Two. Andrea knocks off at 5pm and will be free to return to the life of the rich and famous, complete with charity cash. The boss announces that 'Andrea' is leaving to take up another job with Radio Norwich and has a little farewell do in his office. But Charlie has given Anthea a final task. As the last 15 minutes tick away, she has to risk raising the subject of Anthea Turner amid the chitchat without anyone smelling a rat - she'll get an extra £1,000, but she's gambling the £5,000. Will her ego make her do it? And what will she hear? 'That false bitch!'? 'She made that up about Bruno Brookes beating her!'? 'I wonder what's happened to her career?' It's 5pm. 'Andrea' nips out into an adjoining office and takes off her fat suit. She returns and takes off her glasses in front of her puzzled colleagues. She removes her wig and reveals the scam which has been perpetrated on them. It's also sweet revenge on the people who have just been slagging her off. Bonus balls. Anthea is going home by chauffeur-driven limo. She has somewhere between £10,000 and £18,000 for her charity. There is a TV in the back. Charlie (his identity still obscured) comes on the screen. He has one final challenge for her, should she have the balls to accept it. Grant Bovey is waiting at home for a romantic reunion, but we have told him that Anthea has asked us to pass on the message that she is sending a cleaner round first. Will Anthea be up for a final, different disguise and can she fool her own partner? She'll get another £2,000 if she can as our show comes to a close. Anthea finally strips off her disguise for Grant, but we'll already have stripped this particular celebrity bare for the viewers. But who's Charlie? Our celebrities will get a chance to meet Charlie and we will register the look of surprise on their faces, but we cannot disclose his identity at this time - except to say that 'Who's Charlie' could be a question on everybody's lips. Guessing correctly may turn out to be very profitable for a viewer. Other secret celebrities. Richard Madeley goes back to working in a supermarket (not as security, alas), a shaven-headed Peter Stringfellow goes back to the merchant navy (alternatively, to prison), Richard Whiteley returns to his old school (Giggleswick High, we kid you not) to become an English teacher. Denise Van Outen, Ainsley Harriot, Jeremy Clarkson, Pete Waterman and Timmy Mallett are also favourites.


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